Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Shittiest Kitchen Tasks

Shitty Job Indeed: Shrimp De-Pooping

I love cooking and I generally have absolutely no issues with any prep or kitchen task handed down. But, even chefs that possess the most positive of attitudes sometimes can't stand the sight of certain tasks. Case and point, deturding shrimp. God, if I could never do that again, ever, I think I said that people would achieve world peace. I'm still waiting for someone to invent a shrimp laxative or shrimp toilet paper, so they can clean their own shit. If only...

Anyways, I got some responses from my twitter friends and created this little list, enjoy.

The List:

De-turding and peeling shrimp
Peeling/cleaning favas
Pitting cherries
Peeling potatoes
Cleaning mountains of pig skin (thank you Chef Ryan Farr)
Juicing citrus at the end of the week/night when you have fresh little fingercuts/burns
Pitting cherries w/o a cherry pitter
Brunoise/julienne sourdough bread
Cleaning fish
Fluffing the chef/rubbing lotion on the chef's back acne *
Cleaning water chestnuts
Peeling/shaving green papaya
Making masa *
Peeling crawfish
Brunoise/peeling massive quantities of onion/shallots

* - jobs I have personally not done myself...thank goodness

Thanks to twitter followers for contributing: @BarleyPress @JoeScales @OliverLee @fromhils @bellini_belly @cookerguy @mando66 @beckaroo @linecook

Hot Food Porn Awards for Shitties Jobs Ever:

Conscensus Award for Shittiest Kitchen Job: favas by a slim margin over shrimp
Personal Award for Shittiest Kitchen Job: cleaning pig skin by a length over papaya
WTF Award for Shittiest Kitchen Job: fluffing/rubbing chef's back acne with lotion


  1. One hot summer day we had a cooler failure and had to throw out about 30 gallons of cooked beans. Some of the bags burst in the dumpster. Next week, dumpster infested with a bumper crop of maggots. It was so gross, I couldn't even bring myself to pawn off cleaning it on one of my cooks, cleaning crew, or dishwashers.

  2. Don't forget, Cleaning the grease trap

  3. try shucking fresh garbanzo beans sometime - they usually only come one bean per pod.

  4. How is it that just anybody can write a blog and get as popular as this? Its not like youve said anything incredibly impressive –more like youve painted a pretty picture over an issue that you know nothing about! I dont want to sound mean, here. But do you really think that you can get away with adding some pretty pictures and not really say anything?
    Top News

  5. I dont know what to say. This blog is fantastic. Thats not really a really huge statement, but its all I could come up with after reading this. You know so much about this subject. So much so that you made me want to learn more about it. Your blog is my stepping stone, my friend. Thanks for the heads up on this subject.
    Breaking News

  6. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is great blog. A great read. Ill definitely be back.
    News Articles

  7. Incredibly beneficial article. I’ve discovered your web site by Google and I am genuinely happy about the information you present with your posts. Anyway keep in the great hard work!

  8. In search of attempting on the internet for one high-quality read pertaining to the following topic . Scouting in Yahoo I lastly discovered this blog post. Reading this info I’m just glad to mention that I’ve got a really good feeling I came across the very things I was ready for. I’ll ensure to remember this blog and go here consistently.

  9. I found this is an informative and interesting post so i think so it is very useful and knowledgeable. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well. In fact your creative writing ability has inspired me. Really the article is spreading its wings rapidly…

  10. Obviously, I'm bored or I would not be reading these comments. I have noticed one particular item in common between them all. Take a look at the grammar and spelling. REALLY!! I'm not sure if it is because you were so excited to be posting a comment...or....well, you can figure it out! Well, maybe NOT!
    News Update

  11. This is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! Keep up the excellent work.
    News Articles

  12. Yes I searched for it, an interesting material. It is good, when there is a new. Thank you very much.

  13. You know, neckties were originally worn to allow for the mopping of sweat from the face, but as this is now against health regulations, they are largely decorative.

    1. Interesting article you have here. I didn't really think about it in that way yet, but you truly have a point. Good job.

  14. Good post, need to try perform something like that.

    buy a term paper essays

  15. hi, I read your post and it was amazing , KEEP IT, great job.
    t-shirt torino