Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Shittiest Kitchen Tasks

Shitty Job Indeed: Shrimp De-Pooping


I love cooking and I generally have absolutely no issues with any prep or kitchen task handed down. But, even chefs that possess the most positive of attitudes sometimes can't stand the sight of certain tasks. Case and point, deturding shrimp. God, if I could never do that again, ever, I think I said that people would achieve world peace. I'm still waiting for someone to invent a shrimp laxative or shrimp toilet paper, so they can clean their own shit. If only...

Anyways, I got some responses from my twitter friends and created this little list, enjoy.


The List:

De-turding and peeling shrimp
Peeling/cleaning favas
Pitting cherries
Peeling potatoes
Cleaning mountains of pig skin (thank you Chef Ryan Farr)
Juicing citrus at the end of the week/night when you have fresh little fingercuts/burns
Pitting cherries w/o a cherry pitter
Brunoise/julienne sourdough bread
Cleaning fish
Fluffing the chef/rubbing lotion on the chef's back acne *
Cleaning water chestnuts
Peeling/shaving green papaya
Making masa *
Peeling crawfish
Brunoise/peeling massive quantities of onion/shallots


* - jobs I have personally not done myself...thank goodness

Thanks to twitter followers for contributing: @BarleyPress @JoeScales @OliverLee @fromhils @bellini_belly @cookerguy @mando66 @beckaroo @linecook



Hot Food Porn Awards for Shitties Jobs Ever:

Conscensus Award for Shittiest Kitchen Job: favas by a slim margin over shrimp
Personal Award for Shittiest Kitchen Job: cleaning pig skin by a length over papaya
WTF Award for Shittiest Kitchen Job: fluffing/rubbing chef's back acne with lotion

17 comments:

  1. One hot summer day we had a cooler failure and had to throw out about 30 gallons of cooked beans. Some of the bags burst in the dumpster. Next week, dumpster infested with a bumper crop of maggots. It was so gross, I couldn't even bring myself to pawn off cleaning it on one of my cooks, cleaning crew, or dishwashers.

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