Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Greatest Show On Earth


You too can see Guy Fieri’s shit Roadshow for as little as $28 or if you go with the “Off Da Hook” package, you’re guaranteed:

Off Da Hook Package Includes (MUST be 21+ older):
-1 Seat On Stage
-Tour Laminate
-Copy of Guy’s New Book
-2 Squirt Bottles
-Pre-Show Meet and Greet

Linkage: here.

Wow.  I could barely contain my enthusiasm for such a fantastic offer.  Grand total cost of this wonderful night of joy: $253.00. 

A few things that I can’t understand are: why must you be 21+ to meet him and why does anyone want 2 squirt bottles? 

This is the event description I got off my ticketmaster email:

“The famous Food Network Chef is bringing his first-ever culinary tour to a city near you with the Guy Fieri Roadshow. Don’t miss this two-hour Food-a-palooza as Guy marries mouth-watering fare and rock-‘n’-roll while he gets away with everything they won’t let him do on TV!

Look for great seats to catch all the action or get up close with one of these tasty ticket packages.”

Holy shit man, food and rock-and-roll go together like PB&J, right?   You too could have both things and lessons on how to bleach your upper chin hair and make pink smoothies at the same time. 

Oh yeah, take all that good stuff and add “everything they won’t let him do on TV.”  Too bad I don’t know what that means, but I’m pretty sure you’re not going to get your money’s worth unless he’s humping a goat or taking it from a donkey – even then, it’d be a show for an entirely different crowd. 

To put things in perspective, with less than $253 dollars, you could do something like:

Dine at Alinea, buy the Alinea cookbook, possibly meet the chef, buy two squirt bottles, buy the Fieri cookbook and burn it with some free matches.

P.S. Maybe the squirt bottles are for putting out the flames and ashes.  Show producers are so smart.


  1. Hahahhahahhaahahaha. Thanks for the laugh :)

  2. A "rub and tug" is $160 and I can get 2 decent cook books for under a $100 and I can steal 2 squirt bottles from "Economy"....guess what I'm doing Saturday?....HAHAHAHAHAHA

  3. but... but.... how will i ever learn the finer points of facial hair bleaching?! thank you for this. for that much money i could buy Ferran Adria's book and several copies of guy's to lay around it to make it look cooler than it actually is.