Wednesday, April 18, 2012

It’s Official: Sweden Racist Cake Clobbers Hot Dog Pizza Crust For Worst Food Idea of 2012

And you only thought they made Swedish Fish and meatballs.

I honestly have to tell you that I did not see this coming.  Let’s think about this for a moment –last week,  you had Pizza Hut rolling out the Hot Dog Stuffed Crust, probably smirking to themselves about how their shit just turned to roses.  During that entire time, I was sure that the executives and Mad Men of Pizza Hut were slapping high fives and throwing out double barreled fingerbang salutes to America’s coronaries. 

 pizza hut, stuffed crust hot dog pizza

I mean, everybody knew that the Hot Dog Stuffed Crust was a lock for the worst food idea of the year.  Game. Set. Match.  Then Sweden came with the fight last night.  They brought out a idea so bad and a media photo-op so wrongfully positioned (see below), that it just kicked Hot Dog Stuffed Pizza Crust to the garbage pile. 

This was the Cinderella Man match of culinary stupidity.  Sweden just came out guns blazing and wanted it more – and in the process, they were not only able to claim the prize for worst culinary idea, but also defame the sentiments towards an entire country all at the same time. 

Yes, some will say that this was an art piece, not a food piece.  Yes, some will say that a picture of a group of white people laughing as the black-faced cake model is eating its own (cake) body, is just part of the provocation of the art piece.  Yes, I will say all this is true, but then again I’m not really sure why artists try to provoke angry responses involving racism, genocide and genital mutilation.  The last time I checked, most people I know are already pretty angry about those things happening… but I’m not artsy or smart enough to really know or be able to give you a clear answer on that.

What I do want to know honestly are the answers to the following questions – ones that I am sure most people are dying to know:

1. Was it carrot cake or red velvet?

2. How did it taste, moist or dry?

3. Did anybody take some home and freeze it?